What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why is it so hard to date nowadays?

HELLO

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

After a few moments he returns.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

I’m a man. Why do I always fantasize about men’s cock? I don’t want a relationship with the man, I just want to suck his cock.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Yes sir it is.

How often do prisoners try to escape from jail/prison, and how many of them succeed?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Sure no problem officer.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

What is it like to use a Fleshlight?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

{RING} {RING}